To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this amidst deepest woe and a puddle of tears. Recently Mr. F.J. Collins of Wiltshire, England has passed away. As a life-long companion, and personal accountant, of Mr. Collins, I know it was his dying wish to have his large fund of money dispersed to a stand-out person such as yourself. Mr. Collins’ bank account funds, surmounting to over 200000000000 pounds, will be transferred to you, as stated explicitly in his will, pending your return e-mail. To accept, please send a return e-mail with your legal name, social security number, bank account number, job history, a picture of you, your first born child and your darkest secrets.
Thank you,
Sincerely,
Connie Bristow, Esq.
Accountant and Very Trustworthy Person
I have to giggle bc I could have beyond wealthy, the kind of wealth where you can wipe your bottom with $100 bills if I answered all of these types of spam mails!
It’s true! They are totally legitimate!
I like how creative you are with your writing ideas. Now, this is not just like a rant or musing. It’s in another fashion.
Thank you!
Oh no. Do you think I am stupid? I send the info but will not reveal my darkest secrets.
Oh, c’mon! Those are the best part.
Oh, ok..it’s the puddle of tears that got me. Will send info shortly. The firstborn is in the mail.