i was crippled by what i saw around me
a world that i so badly wanted to call foreign
but i knew in truth it was i that was foreign
i looked at my hands like they were someone else’s
as i trudged on through the immaculate city
lights all around me
i felt as though something was looking down on me
i felt the strangest of sunbeams
and the giant camera of god
zoomed down onto my separate story
i was living in the garden of the future
time moved forward i was engulfed in dream
i’d seen it before when i’d closed my eyes
the realization that you are in a singular moment
and everywhere at the same time
there was a swarm of birds living in my stomach
i was living in the garden of the future
my heart beats distant and echoed
my eyes like gamma rays
i spun out of control
it was everything they said it would be
it was what i’d imagined
vast and quiet
a single frequency of white noise
volcanoes in the distance like stone lions
at a doorway
i woke up in a dream of the future
and as i looked around at the dunes of my fears
as i wandered in singularity through the forest of my hope
i realized this was no garden of the future
this was the shadow of the past behind me
and in that moment i mourned the death of the moment
in that moment i mourned the death of me
like two in the morning or something
i couldn’t sleep so i called up God
and was all like “hey God, do you want
to meet up for some coffee?” and God
of course obliged me like always so we’re
sitting around Denny’s drinking shitty coffee
talking when i ask God “is destiny a thing?”
and God says “yes,” and i say “that’s kind of
a bummer,” and God says “well, i don’t think
that doesn’t mean you can’t be proud of the
decisions you make,” and i say “i guess,” and
then there’s an awkward pause, the waitress
comes by refills our coffees and we sip in
silence and then i say “alright, God,
what number am i thinking of?” God says 3.
it was 3. What am I thinking now? God says
i’m thinking about destiny and i was like
well yeah okay that might not have been the
best approach and then i took the salt shaker
unscrewed the lid and poured the entire thing
of salt into my cup of coffee. God says
“why did you do that?” and i say “you seem
surprised. i thought you knew that i was going
to do that? wasn’t it part of my destiny?”
and God was like “no! that just came out of
nowhere,” and seemed perplexed. i think God
would have turned to God for answers in that
moment if that made any sense. and then i held
God’s hand and i said look. i know what they say.
man plans and God laughs and that’s beautiful
but sometimes we just take the car off cruise
control and we start driving off the road in the middle of nebraska
and we’re pushing through the corn fields
and doing donuts and blasting dizzy gillespie
and it makes no damn sense and no one could have
seen it coming, not even you, i’m sorry, but that’s
why i put the salt in the coffee because some things
weren’t written. some things happen that weren’t meant
to happen and those things were meant to happen but
not in the sense that everyone saw it coming because
sometimes no one sees it coming. even you, God. sometimes
it’s brutal and vicious hard work or a spark to the heart
and it’s raw and honest and it’s tangental and that tangent
shoots off into space like a monkey in an astronaut suit
and it forms a new monkey planet with a new monkey God
who too will have a moment of awe when realizing that your
children are not you. they break the rules in the name of
something. love or change or dizzy gillespie but yes. it’s
a thing that happens and it’ll catch us all off guard and
then the waitress stole the cash in the register, took off
her apron and busted out the door into the cold night.
i am the fiercest mother fucker this side of the mississippi
i smash glass bottles and bust through saloon doors
looking for the day willing to stare me in my damn eyes
i crucify the pacemakers
the hearts that don’t beat on their own and just follow
the instruction manual and stay on their side
of the double yellow lines
i crash through glass ceilings
i burn down churches and pray they rebuild god in their place
i pray they see me coming
i am down on bended knee asking for a light that blinds the ignorant
great radioactive waves that cast shadows on dry counties
and flood their history with second chances and first blood
the first blood red sunset harvest moon manifesto
i wrote this! bloody pen in hand i carved my soul into my bones
i created this small moment of fire
this unquenched desire to burn the binding of bad history books
and rename the sky as nameless
i shamelessly drive one hundred thousand miles per hour into your sun room
i push through time like a fist through the virgin threshold of life
i become a little each time i’m reborn dust to ash to fire to flame
and no two days should ever be the same
let’s go motherfuckers! there is a war for peace in my veins
there is no need for constant change
but on a planet where the air is thinning
we must shout louder than the towers that flowered:
they were born in buds blossomed and died
leaving us this shaken up airhorn inside
let us pray
i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance!
and furious anger!
those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers!
and you will know my name is the lord
when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
some days are stars bursting like skulls shot at bullets
some days are just herding the sheep in for the brainstorm
and i’m trying, ringo
i’m trying real hard to be the shepherd
those flowers are not from you. they are from me.
i wanted to send you something to let you know
that you are very very very much loved.
i know sometimes life can feel quite busy
or overwhelming and sometimes unbearable
but through all of this you always remain
in my thoughts, because you deserve to be thought of.
that is the truth. these are not just pretty words
that are a dime a dozen. this is truth. the truth.
i hope you picked out your favorites. yeah i knew you liked
those flowers and it’s not important which flowers you picked out
but the fact that you chose carefully what flowers
you would get yourself allowed me to get you the flowers
that you wanted, because people are not given flowers
often enough. and it has nothing to do with the price.
if you can’t afford flowers, steal your neighbor’s flowers.
i do not encourage theft: steal your neighbor’s flowers.
there are too many flowers living complete boring lives
in suburban wastelands or botanical gardens. there are flowers
in the discount section of the local grocery store.
that is the literal image that corresponds with a craigslist
missed connection ad. buy those flowers.
these flowers are a torch, so pick red and orange and yel-
low ones, because i am passing on to you something that you
should hold dearly as i would hold you dearly if you were not
across highways, oceans or galaxies my sweet alien love. i
want you to know that you are incendiary. when you
ignite the spark in your pulmonary arteries you set
flame to your lungs and the fumes in your lungs climb your
trachea like a smoke stack and you burn like a great ship
on a still ocean as brachiocephalic fireblood rushes to your
untouched arms and that is why i got you these flowers
so neither of us will ever forget the way that you were and are
and always will be.
this is the way that you were and are
and always will be.
take these flowers and find them water.
give them sunlight and sing them stupid songs.
put them in your windowsill and watch them bloom
young light to gamma-ray burst to inevitable dusk
may they be with you through it all.
in the wet mountains of southern colorado
in the san isabel national forest
a man named Jim Bishop
decided he wanted to build a castle
at the age of fifteen
Jim Bishop payed $450
for a two and a half acre
parcel of land
he earned the money
by mowing lawns,
being a paperboy
and working with his father
on the family business
jim dropped out of school
after a teacher yelled at him
“you’ll never amount to anything,
but Jim Bishop didn’t hear that at all
Jim Bishop began building a cottage at 25
and since rocks were free and in abundance
he decided to build a stone cottage
people around him would say to him
“wow, Jim, are you building a castle?”
and he heard it too much for the answer to remain no
over many summers
stone by stone
Jim Bishop turned his endless insatiability
into in a castle in the mountains
towers 160 feet high
it still stands to this day
everyone tried to stop Jim Bishop
his teacher, society
even the government tried to halt him
that to me is the american dream
not letting anyone or anything get in your way
COPYRIGHT BRICE MAIURRO 2015
Jim Bishop is currently in a very hard battle against cancer. To donate to help him and his loved ones through this, please visit this site.
and sometimes i assume the character
i smoke, i drink, i curse the heavens
as i pace back and forth before this old typewriter
like a black cat, ice clinking in my whiskey glass
i listen to jazz, i light a candle
i stare out the window at the sonic moon
i clear my throat, i crumple papers
i throw crumpled papers into a wastebasket
i spit into the wastebasket
i bite the tip of my glasses
i talk to myself and i say to myself
what are you doing with your time, man?
tossing papers into wastebaskets?
pretending to be this outdated caricature?
it’s time to grow up, man.
i worry about you, man.
i’m losing sight of you.
and then i say
i’m still here.
i am still here,
and i pull the papers from the wastebasket
and i cut up the words
i put my glasses back on
i clear my throat
i close the blinds from the moon
i blow out the candle
i turn off the jazz and listen to my fingertips
i put down the whiskey
and i thank the heavens
that i have returned
the prodigal son of poetry
and those cut up words shine like grace
they shine like dust in sunlight
brighter than a hangover
holier than television
i have returned
to take this fraudulent hipster me by the neck
and strangle it with my giant hands
until its last false breath vanishes
and the words are there
and everything is illuminated
and then it’s over
and when it’s over
i sleep a deep sleep
for one thousand years
in the honesty of my bed
today was a cold day in denver. a few days ago they predicted we would get a crazy snow storm over the weekend and then nothing happened when they predicted it to. everyone was posting about it on social media posting cutesy memes and basically saying “where was that storm you guys said we were getting?” and then boom. it hit us. i decided to brave it and went up to boulder with a friend which was ill-advised but i was feeling adventurous. sometimes you have to weigh life over caution. anyways it was great. saw some good friends, drank tea and played a lot of cards against humanity. i wonder how erratic these weather patterns are or if they’ve always been like that. i think about the end of the world by way of us destroying the planet. i think about what that would look like. i try to judge the level of chaos that there would be. i imagine giant megastores being robbed of their merchandise, i imagine flaming cars in city streets, i imagine i have watched too much television. then i imagine staying home for the end of the world. the instinct to survive in humans is such a double-edged sword. when we’re stripped naked we protect our hearts with our clenched fists. i heard that would we could possibly make the planet unsustainable in a predictable 30 years. i never checked the accuracy of that because it depressed me that i could see it being true. it depresses me that our police officers make national news for allegations of shooting people. it depresses me that race is an issue in america in 2015. just hear that sentence. race is an issue in america in 2015. someday our children will say one of two things. one, your generation had a lot of race issues. or two, your generation fought against a lot of race issues. we are so saturated with all of this, we don’t have time to think about it. i’m complaining about social media on a blog site. oh man it looks like i am one of those loud hypocrites. i think the snow is getting to my head a bit. i digress. let’s go folks. my burner friends say 2015 could be a year of a lot of action. i think we can prove my burner friends right. because race is still an issue in america. because sex is still an issue in america. because animosity is still alive and we are still separated humans. oh i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to get political. we were supposed to be talking about the weather.