and i walk through the graveyard with flowers in my hand
beneath a stormy sky grey with indifference
until i get to the grave where i buried our love
and i bow down at the tombstone and i lay down the flowers
and i look up to the sky uncracked even by the dead trees

there is a great silence to letting go of something that wasn’t terrible
there is a still lake hidden through the brush of the forest
and beneath that lake there is an entire climate breeding below
fishes swimming aimlessly and dead bodies turning into water
but still the lake is still

i can still see your face light up as i pushed through the crowd to you
i can still feel your warmth sleeping beside me
i can remember us mad and laughing beneath the buildings in Denver
and the songs

i will never forget the songs
they run through my head like wild horses on a carousel
each word relevant to the way that we were
each musical note a leaf stripped away from its embrace of its tree
swaying back and forth like dance steps as it falls to the ground
we swayed back and forth like dance steps as we fell to the ground
the eyes on eyes, the nails on skin, the fingers ran through hair
the moments of ecstasy hidden away from any kind of audience
away from cameras, never spoken from mouths, away from even poems
stuck now like record skips in the phonograph of my mind

we were constellations colliding in a meteor shower
and the blow from our crash was enough to light the cosmos
life born, children running rampant around the universe, and then
fading out like the end of a requiem

and you are not gone, not to me, tall heart
your electricity still runs up and down my spine
your blood still takes hostage my body
but i dug a hole in the ground
and i suppose i must lay in it

six feet of dirt above my head
i laid long nights beside you for an eternal minute
now i must lie without you through a frigid winter
my hands my own shovels
i bury myself with the same tools i used
to bury our love

i will miss you as much as i wanted you
i wish you to find the happy your heart hunts
i wander through the halls of my own heart now

but you and i
we will grow from separate graves like flowers
to bloom, you, red and radiating
me, blue and slithering like vines
and the world will cut us up from our roots
tie us up in string and call us a gift

someone will hold you in their arms
and walk you down an alley beneath stained glass windows
or maybe through a graveyard to place you on someone else’s grave
beneath a clear sky white with pure honesty
to sleep with them forever



when i stare across the table and i realize i am in love
and she looks at me as if she is in love with me as well
but that must be some sort of mistake there’s no way
maybe it’s the sushi it’s gotta be the sushi
i assume everyone looks like they’re in love when
they are eating sushi

i sneeze, but it sounds more like a monstrous growl
one of those sneezes that you hear someone do
and you just want to walk across, say, the sushi bar
and slap them across their face for being obnoxious
i sneeze one of those sneezes seizing into my arm
and i look back at her, sugar-eyed she says “bless you.”
and i think to myself that i must be blessed
but my arm so close now i see what is beginning to happen

great thick hairs begin to crawl through my skin like spiders
as my nails lengthen sharpen and blacken on my left arm
i turn my wrist, below the table, upright and black veins bulge
pulsating, i glance up in fear and she is still oblivious to me
she picks at the sushi with her chopsticks and has no clue
that i am beginning to transform

i reach for the sushi with my right arm, still normal
and say something like “this is some damn good sushi.”
my hand shaking as i bring the raw fish to my salty mouth
i chew the sushi like it’s the first thing i’ve eaten in weeks
with the desperation of a wild wolf my teeth at war with each other
my vision begins to blur and i see her just stare onward at me
her cheeks rosy and red her hand reached out for my hand
the lights become harsh and great fangs begin to grown in my mouth
the taste of blood rises from the pit of my stomach like a monsoon
i reach my contorted hand for hers and i hold it like a support system
my fingers tracing her wrist i start to think about her blood
i start to think about my wolf fangs diving deep into her neck
i think about the moan it would release from her soul
like a ghost set loose out into the world, like smoke rising
like some shadow of a red balloon rising into the atmosphere

still she looks at me like i’m the doctor who cured her cancer
she looks at me like i’m the mailman and it’s her sixteenth birthday
my vision black and green the world is some strange jungle
and the kettle drum inside me continues to gain and gain more
my breaths grow faint and i am still turning, now my right arm
grown reckless and hairy there’s no room in my animal skull any longer
for thoughts of philosophy or poetry or sweet women at dinner tables

and still she looks at me like i am the man she wants to marry
and still she looks at me like i am some realization of a dream
while inside of me demons dance around huge bonfires
while inside of me mountains burn and great cities are evacuated
she still looks at me, and interlacing her soft fingers between
the dangerous clutch of my morbid claws she speaks with pink lips
i love you
and i howl a resonating bloodlust howl for the death inside my soul
for the eternal chase of the scattered prey, dark praise to the moon
but all she hears is
i love you too, and
this is some damn good sushi



i roll in from the ocean ten-thousand years of madness and stirring
locked down. crashed and trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea
i writhed like storm chaotic blue windchime desperate sense of purpose
i foamed like the last note of the symphony of a sinking ship violin screech
bubbles rise from the rocks capsized flotsam y jetsam i bury my heart
in the wet destitute of azul jazz and iridescent iris i rocked less like a baby
and more like a crumbling mountain falling down the side of a river off a cliff
into the bay beneath the reef into the lost

there i funeral
there i third eye open and om the om sound of death of life of death of life
and i isolate reimagine the vastness that captures my wayward soul
this hole in the poet this blue sticky blood dripping from the gun shot wound
you have never seen the sight of honesty until you hold loss in your arms
and watch it slip. into the riptide into the unknown particles dismembering
disarraying slipping away from each other like spooked horses from the sound
of a shot gun. and then after the lit candles surrounding a singular picture frame
live eyes staring back from a dead photograph. a picture frame. an open book
ink pressed from pens forced piss to paper not capturing the stomach acid that
builds like tsunami. builds like rapids playing chicken in the crowded intersection
of grievance and our lady guilt.

i was the hands pushing the daisies up from the grave. i am the fist breaking
through the coffin. through six thick feet of worms and dirt. i am standing
alone in a graveyard on fire in the giant ballroom of the space in your heart
you cleared for me by playing piano with your voicebox with insatiable fire
with humble eruption with red blessings that move across mountains like birds
like volcanic mass eratic motion you meander across the map of my world of
our world you consume the blue waters of the earth until we’re left with mercury
rising and again i’m writhing but we’re writhing fire and water hotter than the sun
we won dear sweet love of mine we won and if i come undone i send my regards
from mariana’s trench where go i where go the days my faults surface as waves

i do not want to think about being engulfed in your flames
i want to be engulfed in your flames yes flames as i am am i
i do not want to talk any more dear sweet love dear fire
i want to flood your ballroom and rantodance eclipsically
in the fire and the water and the fire and the water
the fire and the water and the fire and the water

this is the way that i love you and have loved you and will
the fire and the water the fire and the water and the fire
this is the way that i love you and have loved you and will
this way that i love and i love and i feel and it goes and i
waltz and i move and i dance and i love and i churn like
the waves that i am i churn like the waves that i am to the
shore of the fire you give that you are that you are and this
this this is the way that i love you and have loved you and
i will and i will and i will and the fire and the water and the
fire and the fire and the fire and the fire and the water and
the fire and yes and no and yes and no and the fire the fire
i love you



i had this dream that i walked out into the ocean
arms at my side at night i just kept going
there on the shore you stood watch
arm stretched out before you you sang to me
but i was entranced, lost to the rhythms of the sea
i stepped out further, cold water at my ankles
i stepped out further, cold water at my knees
and the whole time you sang to me arm stretched out
i did not see, i did not hear the song you sang
i just walked further and further into the tide
i stepped out further, cold water at my hips
eyes glazed over with the mist of salt
i did not know where i walked to
i did not know if i would ever look back
i just continued to walk out into the ocean
the wind blowing on my face and the
sun pressed down upon my bare shoulders
i seeked the black mystery of leagues deep
i seeked to be a dark submarine traipsing
through fog and algae and in the distance
the demon eyes shining in the rocky caves
i stepped out further, cold water at my back
cold water at my shoulders up to my neck
and just then. the moment before the ocean
sucked me in to the unanswerable question
i heard your sweet songs skipping on the waves
and it hit my ears with hallelujah and amen
sweet siren singing me away from shipwreck
i turned around cold water off my shoulders
off my hips my knees my ankles and the sun
of your love i remembered i remembered
once and for an eternity i will recall
that the mystery is there within you
in each breath in and out like the crash of waves
the deep caverns of your love
your ocean fifty million leagues deep
i placed my hand on the soft of your outstretched arm
and i dived deep into your song for this sailor
this lonesome wanderer lost in the maybe
but forever found in the constant rhythms of your moon
and the sea in my soul that sways to its sound


i am unafraid to say to you.

let each day work towards my freedom
let each moment in love be unabashedly sincere
let each porch swing swing high into the night
fly off its ropes and ascend graceful into the heavens

let there be flashfloods of hope
lightning storms of abundance
angels dancing like hipsters in the flat
of some famous dead poet

let us kiss like we just discovered this. lips
let us bust through the ropes that contain
our cocaine hearts
let us be ready to face our new love

let the birds free from the chapel
traveling through time to a holy grave
soldiers falling for the future
as one ascends into existence in this white light symphony
this giant sandbox of death and orgasm

let die the dying dog
pour water on the campfire and get some sleep
take moments to just be
tear them off the paper on the bulletin board
call the number listed

let lay my head beneath you
i do not fear how tall you are
i am unafraid to say to you
i am unafraid to say to you
i am unafraid to say to you
how deep your rivers run through my limbs

let down the moon from drunk denver
let our steps be chaotic, unplanned and together
let lay we against the timeless brick walls
let lay we lost in the cosmos above oz

let we move
not forward not backward
not any way in particular
let we dance yes dance
dance veronically for the world
let we dance for the stoplights
for the lost generations
let we breathe this gospel in
let we scatterbrain talk
let we automatic touch
let we semi-automatic breathe
let we swallow these great sighs like buildings falling

these tied up wildflowers
i am unafraid to say to you
i am unafraid to say to you
i am unafraid to say to you the end.



two birds on top of a burning building
they pay no mind to the fire until they have to
they are red-breasted and consumed
by the mad sweet company of each other
they plant their feet like trees when they touch
because there’s no time to get carried away
and when the time comes
feathers ruffled. dizzy and imbalanced
away from the flames they caused
they fly separate ways
and it was worth it
it was worth it
it was worth it



It’s amazing to be alive on a day where love has been allowed to be free. Have you ever been told you’re not allowed to love someone the way you want to? Have you ever been denied that you could actually love someone? The problem with trying to contain love is it can’t be done. The more you push back on love the closer it will embrace you. This is where I find my hope for humanity. Freedom, beauty, truth and love – and the beautiful thing is today’s ruling to make gay marriage legal in all fifty states will make this country more free, more beautiful, more truthful and of course more full of love. I am beyond elated. Let us not put down our hearts just yet. Let us keep fighting for that which is unarguably good. Let us carry a torch that will light all the dark corners of this world and when there are no dark places left, we can rest. Love is painful, love is work and all that pain and work is worth it on days like today. I love you all. Have a free, beautiful, truthful, lovely weekend.



i won’t
tell you not to
but take
your salt water
and make
it an ocean
and chop down the fences
around your
summer home heart
and make a
and sail to me
to wherever if
not me
than sail into the sun
sail into
dreams that you’ve had
or dream
of the dreams you’ve yet to
because there are planets in the vastness
of your rattling rib cage
and there
are planets
in the vastness of each breath
you swallow
and each you return to fill the space
you left behind
and each penny on the ground
is a child
waiting to be born
we think our thoughts and they kind of
swish around like mouthwash
for a minute
then when we’re done we spit them
into the great rusty pipes of the world
and these baby crocodile ideas
get into the
sewers and in
the sewers they grow into great alligator magnum opus
transcontinental hands held high
in celebration
of not being hate
of not being disappointment
of being the dot beneath the question
mark and not the windy road
that leads the way
and we are not toy soldiers
nor masks nor silent
we are amphitheater
we are starlight and music and unintentional
uninvented invention
the dew that drips from our tongue
trapped in teeth
forced to send carrier pigeons
except when we lower the draw bridge
and let in the inevitable sensation
of another
in one moment of pure recklessness
we invite in waves of sensation
our lighthouse beams
guiding them to the shores of the future
which rest in our hungry bellies
where the salty ocean of our tears
always resides



there’s a bunch of caffeined-up kids playing laser tag in my skull
there’s a homeless man who has taken shelter in my cardboard box gut
there’s a flash flood pouring through my river-veins like the end of days
my fingers have been commandeered by pirates
and they sail on through oceans of indecision

there’s a mime on the soap box of my throat
presenting a great silent sermon but the live studio audience
is fast asleep in my liver

there is a bear pacing the den of the balls of my feet
hungry and impatient he wanders back and forth
a mechanic works on my rusty knees while a prospector
digs for gold in the hills of my knuckles
there’s a riot in the rain in the depths of my stomach
unsettled citizens hold signs protesting a broken society
the inconsistent weather has driven them stir crazy
there is an empty crucifix in my shoulders
wondering patiently if anyone will ever climb aboard
there is no room anywhere in this full house
monkeys swing from chandeliers, wild dogs run rampant
people and every manner of beast is born and dies inside of me
and i bury them all in the graveyard of my lungs
there is something in every section of my being
except for my heart, where i have taken the liberty
of clearing out a room, changing the bedsheets
putting a mint on a pillow so when you come to town
you will always have somewhere to stay

there may be a circus of angels and monsters
flying around inside of me, clawing at my rib cage
but in this tiny room of my heart
i will make certain there is always a reservation
for you



it is a good feeling to be free
to have no load to carry
no cross to carry
to have no day no moment
but the one that we have just arrived in

it is good to be loved by a woman
to know the value of pursuit of her
pursuit of life
pursuit of whatever it is you wish to pursue
it is good i find at the end of the hangover day
to celebrate the mistakes with a toast to the gods

and who are these gods?
these mysterious creatures to whom we attribute this all
this caper this unanswerable riddle
all i know is i wish to be among them

i will drunk drunk drunk
til i can drunk drunk drunk no more
for i am tyrion lanister
and you are beautiful eyes
and an inviting sway
to a dance that i hope will last longer
than this chemical buzz
this i.v. bag of bliss
which i don’t understand
because buried beneath is more bliss

it is a peculiar thing
to drink alone
to wonder where the line is
where you no longer are a sober soul
it is a peculiar life
with clowns and bears on tricycles
with ugly stepsisters
and wicked deeds
but there is hope i find
in the exit wounds we leave in time
that is where i find my hope
which i always search for
nothing is more sacred than my constant search
for hope
and your love
and the way these two things
the way they braid together into rope
slipknot tied tight and wrapped around my vulnerable throat
waiting for you
to drop
the floor beneath my feet