the great american burger machine
fifty thousand shades of lip gloss
the land of the buy one get one free
five thousand types of cigarettes
a must-have priced-to-sell item
limited time offer while supplies last
best-in-class five star rated
save time save money save energy
are you sick of all the trouble?
are you tired? are you stressed?
god bless whoever invented point nine nine
two-for-one rebate coupons
the american way faster
cheaper better longer lasting
it keeps going and going and going
newest model special edition
collector’s edition twentieth anniversary
edition do i hear one dollar
two dollar two dollar two three
can i get three can i get an amen! sold!
to the man in the stunning suit sitting
beside the label whore in the
ergonomically-correct chair and
god bless you and god bless you and
your beautiful artificial blue eyes and
your beautiful artificial children
all of you everywhere everyone all
at once holiday sale! pre-holiday sale!
post-holiday sale! back to school!
summer vacation! labor day! black
friday! president’s day! memorial day
sale! come on in! open twenty four
seven three sixty five all major
holy-days and the lights and the lights
never turn off and it keeps
going and going and going and




Author: brice maiurro

Denver poet. Author of Stupid Flowers, out now through Punch Drunk Press.


  1. Love the rhythm and the patter…both reminiscent of an auctioneer (and yes i realize the lines in there that WERE part of an auctioneer’s patter) , commercials and fast talking salesmen. Great stuff. Glad you found my blog so i could be introduced to your writing

    1. I didn’t fully realize, until reading this comment, that the voice narrating this poem in my head sounded exactly like a cross between an auctioneer and the (now deceased) Bill Mays. This is a job well done.

    1. I was in a thrift store one day and in the section with all the kitchy stuff was this thing, that was like a George Foreman grill but smaller, and it said on it “The Great American Burger Machine,” and I was like, yeah… that’s a poem name. =)

  2. Exactly. “artificial blue eyes” I saw a pretty teen the other day with blue eyes and blond hair, but both looked as artificial as a Halloween costume. It made me angry. I’m fair, but I’ve always thought darker tones were beautiful. There’s something wrong with a culture that leaves so many dissatisfied with who they are.

    1. Marginalizing the idea of beauty is such a stupid idea all around. Beauty is something that I think we all need to do our small part to redefine.

    1. Thank you! Oh my gosh, there’s so much to write about the American Dream. It’s a favorite subject of mine. I appreciate the read!

  3. You know the thing is as I was reading this excellent list of over the top idiocy I couldn’t help but reflect that if speed of delivery – as in everything, all the time, the more the better, immediately do we finally hit a point of no return. You know where it all starts cascading down.

  4. Uber groovy, brother, and might I recommend that you check out “Love for Sale” from the amazing multi-purpose musical movie “True Stories” (if you haven’t seen it do so post haste) wherein David Byrne (lead singer/songwriter for The Talking Heads at time of the film’s production) tried to write a song composed entirely of commercial type slogans! Peace.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s