hi. my name is brice maiurro. and i am here to tell you why you should follow my blog.

i will begin my something-part argument by saying that i may or may not be a little inebriated, thus making me easy to relate to. whether or not you are a little inebriated right now, or care to lie to yourself on said matter, i think you’ll find we have a lot in common. other things we may have in common: i love Love, some people, and music. my favorite kind of music is… all of them. if you don’t like music, you need not apply, unless you still feel a strong desire to do so. i write poetry. for those of you out there who went to high school, common to what’s been crammed up your mental asshole, poetry is not a bunch of pretentious white british assholes commenting on the existential nature of butterflies and the consequential consequences that may thus incur from the artificial conscientious beauty we craft of nature in our bloody mindholes. poetry is about honesty. it’s about being willing to admit that you’ve had a half a bottle of wine and are sitting in a shit t-shirt in a basement apartment in an unimportant city in littleton sweating balls as you write this rant that you may not have had the tenacity to write while you are sober.

which brings me to my next point. did i mention i am devilishly handsome? i won’t post a picture, but just imagine, my hair that falls as gracefully as doctor who’s and my six pack abs and my pearl white smile. that’s me. sorta kinda. which brings me to my next point. i am here to break down the walls of anonymity. i want to crash into the glass walls of museums and ride the taxidermy bears into the dawn of ecstasy. join me. follow my blog. hear my rambles. see my dearest friend of a doodle, Rant the Ant, and the situations I force upon him, whether he likes it or not, because isn’t that exactly how we should be living our lives?


Author: brice maiurro

Denver poet. Author of Stupid Flowers, out now through Punch Drunk Press.

32 thoughts on “WHY YOU SHOULD READ MY BLOG”

  1. I too, am inebriated which makes you all the more interesting! Please tell us more about your romp in the middle of some decrepit museum whilst your abs glisten from the intense workout commanding stuffed animals can be!

  2. I write poetry too so yay for things in common. Which, I am also extremely good-looking, bet you can relate to awkward moment when you see a picture of yourself and just think “D*mnnnn, who’s THAT sexy person, oh wait, it’s just me.”

  3. And what’s so bad about the existential nature of butterflies? Hmmm?

    I wonder what a possibly inebriated (or then again, maybe not) butterfly would rant on about… 😉

    And I think I saw your abs on a package of Calvin Klein underwear.

  4. Due to the fact that my imagination conjures images, most beyond my control…I am intrigued..and saddened that if the sexy underwear billboards are true, we just don’t have those in my podunk town..hmm, I guess I would have to resort to Google. ; ) As for breaking shit and riding off into ecstasy on wild animals..I call dibs in the cougar! The shoe fits..lol..

    I enjoy inebriated Brice posts!

      1. The podunk “village” of Winnebago, Illinois! When I was growing up is was just a cornfield..I still refer to it as a cornfield..now we have a stop light and a couple fast food places..oh and a liquor licence! Lol..but, I won’t leave. I really do like it here…well, except the small town BS!

        Umm..the “cougar” reference, just to clarify since it could be taken many ways, stems from a joke about me. I definitely don’t think of myself as a cougar!

        As for the e-mail…it’s all good. Like I said, I’m often misunderstood, so I didn’t want you to think I was completely crazy! If I felt comfortable enough I was gonna e-mail you something I wrote..So, whenever you have time is fine!

  5. Uhhhhh… ’bout your six pack abs… No, don’t show me…way too early and wrong gender…but that bein’ said, I got your six pack beat… I got me a whole case goin’ on here! LOL

    1. LMAO! Love this! I just recently posted a pic to my Facebook of a guy with a “beer belly” that had the top of a 6 pack of beer tattooed on it! I couldn’t pass up re-posting it because my husband just so happens to have the “case” problem as well! Although, I don’t think I would care for him to have that particular tattoo!

      1. Good for you! Well, unless you liked it there! If I rattle there it’s starting to look more like I’m deflating! Mine wasn’t beer though, it was babies! Just never could seem to get it off. LOL..either way, as long as it’s going, I’m happy! I’m gonna need to bathe in some skin firming cream though..I wonder if they sell that by the gallon? ; )

      2. What ya see is what ya get with me! That’s why my profile pic is the same on everything..the only decent pic I have of me! I will not resort to PhotoShop..ever! Lol

      1. Maybe I shall try this now?! Feelin pretty good…actually I think I’ll stick to “tipsy twittering”…I can get more obnoxious there and not feel bad later ; )

  6. I bet you are not as handsome as you say because if you were you would have posted a picture for the attention of all the lovely lady fans 🙂 you write well and just stay focused there. Looks and poetry don’t go too well.look at me….

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