making your bed
is the sorriest excuse
for human existential crisis
i have ever heard

i cannot think
of any activity
more wasteful
for someone to do

the definition of insanity
is doing the same thing
again and again
and expecting different results

a good example
of insanity
is making your bed each morning
just to unmake it
that evening

take that gap of time
and use it for literally
anything else
repaint your white walls white
just don’t make your bed

model homes
have nicely made beds in them
yes i know this
but so do coffins
and don’t open the door
to my opinions
on model homes

if you make your bed everyday
i dare you not to
you’ll feel off all day
like you left the oven on
i dare you

if you never make your bed
this poem may have been a waste of your time
and for that
i sincerely apologize


Author: brice maiurro

Denver poet. Author of Stupid Flowers, out now through Punch Drunk Press.


  1. Your poems always bring a smile to my face 🙂 They’re so obscure yet funny, and somehow you have me reading the whole thing.

  2. I never make my bed unless someone goes in my room. Haha

    Although, I don’t think people that make their beds every day expect different results. I think they do it for the same result.

  3. “holdenlyric” is absolutely right. So many reasons for making a bed – including not wanting things to change. As a ritual, it’s a quick and effective one. Not to mention a quick stretch for one sitting two long at the computer. But I’m getting too serious. An enjoyable poem!

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