Happy Holidays Edited


she came along
like forest fires
in the midst of a rain storm
like Jesus
In the midst of tyranny

she moved like cancer
she twitched like heroin needles
she created heart burn
in the stomachs of men

she pushed me against the wall
she ripped me up into a million tiny pieces
she teased me like a laser on the wall teases a cat

she invaded my countries
and brainwashed my people
and let the water rush over my cities
she planned every last lick of it

she fell and she rose
she fell and she rose
like a savior
or the undead

she stamped the wooden floors with her red heels
she tore down the wallpaper
she left hickies on my ceiling
bite marks on my dining room tables
bruises on my chandeliers
and she wouldn’t stop until every last building, tower, rec center, cemetary, church and synagogue was burned down

she would rip off the top of the last basilica with a clenched fist

she treated each moment as a dog fight
And i fell madly madly in love below the imprint of her shoeprint

she burned like a cigarette dipped in kerosene
and she tasted just the same
she left like watching a romantic comedy in reverse

she was the worst thing that ever happened to me
i don’t regret a moment of it




mickey goofy 2012!
minnie will make a great first lady
let america’s sweethearts into america’s suite
mickey promises candy to everyone
goofy’s stance on foreign policy is hug it out

roger rabbit for the democratic nomination
plenty of jessica rabbit scandal to push his platform
he will draw a better world into existence

when foghorn leghorn is speaker of the house
and betty boop is secretary of state
it’s hard to call the senate to order

paint the white house technicolor
these caricatured characters are running the show

hulk hogan for minnesota
who else can lay down jesse the body?

hulk for california
because who else can beat the terminator?

C3PO for foreign affairs
diplomatic, fair and he is fluent
in over six million form of communication

obi wan kenobi for new york
because he is our only hope

pikachu for florida
to deal with with the lightning issue

uncle sam has been impeached
for relations with a fox-y lady

ziggy stardust for wisconsin
because why not?

james bond for secretary of defense
other countries will be shaken, not stirred

paul bunyan for texas
because everything’s bigger in texas

kermit the frog will not be running
his marxist views are not reciprocated
plus puppet always do better on the media side
talking heads with hands up their asses

ronald mcdonald and the burger kind
will continue to run the food and drug administration

hannah montana for montana
elvis for vegas
sarah palin for alaska

american jesus for treasurer
because we really need god on our side

when you go to vote
a vote for the count is a vote that counts

these caricatured characters
with shiny white teeth
and fresh pressed suits
dancing to “the entertainer”
in top hats, with canes
in the wings of the stage
the truth is being tied up
with wonder woman’s lasso
and they just keep dancing
to “the entertainer”
because who doesn’t love
the entertainer?