WORLD’S SMALLEST VIOLIN

with the recession
we had to sell the summer home
now i can’t decide
whether to vacation
in the caymans or
the keys

i’m far too stressed
i couldn’t get
overnight shipping on my
organic sleep mask
so i’ve been fairly cranky
as of late

evelyn says johnny is
a wreck because he didn’t make
the fencing team and
god
next time i’m out with her
if she orders
one more half dry
half wet martini
i swear to jesus
i am going to hit her
in the head
with my non-stick
frying pan
that i got
at sur la table
last week.
(damn thing
wasn’t even on
sale.)

the compute broke
so i had to do all my
online shopping
on my ipad
while this foreign man
from dell
spent several hours
trying to fix my
computer before finally
accusing me of
spilling raspberry mojito
on the hard drive.
the nerve.

i turned on the
television today.
apparently something’s
going on in
syria,
aurora, colorado;
apparently something’s
going on in
the middle east.

i had to turn
the damn thing off.

i just sat there
in silence
waiting for my nails
to dry.

COPYRIGHT BRICE MAIURRO 2012

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